Monday, June 14, 2010

More love...

Yesterday when I woke up and realized, my mother cooked breakfast, but she was out. My husband asked me why mother does not always let us know when she planned to leave the house. I know the reason. Many mothers take care of their families and have never taken a "holiday." That is because most mothers feel a sense of guilt for leaving their children, or ignoring them. My mother has been busy for the last 30 years, she has not been able to change this habit. It will be hard for her to speak out and then leave me and the kids.



So, I'm happy my mother can enjoy herself on her own. Follow her dream of becoming San Mao-style life. On the other hand, I would just stay home and enjoy her cooking with love of the finished dishes. . .



Spanking is OK!!??

My knowledge tells me spanking children is not an effective parenting tool, especially spanking when you feel mad. However, there were time when my hands react faster than my thoughts...
Today is one of those days. my oldest son is a pusher. He pushes to get attention, when he feels excited, when he is bored, and perhaps under other conditions as well. He has pushed his grandfather`s head from behind several times when his grandfather was sitting on the couch watching T.V. I have tried putting him in time-out, telling him NO firmly, explaining his behaviors causes harm to his grandfather, yet, he did it again today. I held up his left hand, slapped it with my left hand, told him NO, put him in his time-out corner and explained to him pushing anyone is "not nice". Yes, I did the parenting combo.
He cried for couple minutes. As soon as he got out from time-out, he started running around again like life is perfect. Couple minutes after that, I realized there was a bruised spot on my thumb. Terrified, I checked his hand. Luckily, there were red marks but no bruised spots on his hand, but guilt and fear have occupied me.
For him, did he learn not to push again? I doubted.  However, for me, I learned spanking (including hand slapping) even with bare hands is not OK.








 
          

Sunday, June 13, 2010

May 27th, 2010

My little Jonny loves to post for pictures, here is more of him.

Mothers' day

Another day to show our love to our mothers. My husband wanted to show my mother how much we appreciate her, so he went out early morning to pick out a watch, something she needed since she lost hers years ago.

He came home with a pink watch which he carefully picked out; he felt great sense of accomplishment especially when he gifted me a very stylish Couch bag. As usual, he retreated back to his man-cave after that and started playing online PC game. I started feeling left out and truly unloved because I felt love is not shown by giving gifts but spending time with each other. (Obviously,  gifting is my hubby way to show his love)

I went into his man cave and started pick fight. The fight started easily, especially when hubby pointed out he was the only one who cares enough to purchase my mother a watch with his hard working money. The fight ended with me being speechless.  

Later that night, I went back to him and explained the 5 love languages. Even though my brother and sisters do not purchase gifts for my parents, but they will show their love differently. My brother shows his love by physical touches, when my sister Jane shows her love by act of service, and lastly my sister Evon shows spending time with them. He was wrong to judge their love for my parents by judging their ways to show love just as my wrong doing of judging his love for me by judging his way to say I love you on mothers` day.

 pic: cheese cake which hubby got for me to show me he was thinking about me.