Sunday, November 7, 2010
打屁股OK！？？
我的学识告诉我打孩子的屁股不是一个有效的方法，父母，尤其是当你感到生气时。不过，有时间我的手反应速度比我的想法快...今天是这些的日子之一。我的大儿子是个动者。他推他人是为引起别人的注意，是当时他感到激动，是当他觉得无聊，或许是在其他的条件下。他喜欢在他的祖父看电视坐在沙发上时推打祖父的后脑，他的祖父明确的解释他的行为造成危害告诉他，然而，今天再次发生。我右手抓他的左手，我举起左手，打了他的左手掌心，告诉他“不”，“timeout”又和他解释，他推人是“不好的行为”。是的，我什么都做了。他哭了两分钟。不久，他又开始向周围的运行。几分钟之后，我意识到 我有一个拇指受伤了。我吓坏了，赶紧检查了他的手。幸运的是，他的手没有受伤， 但有一块红色的地方。内 疚和恐惧占据了我。对他来说，他再没有推人了吗？我怀疑。但是，对于我来说，我学到打屁股（包括手甚至用手拍打）是不行的。
我的儿子是同性恋 - 由警察的妻子
这是关于一个非常勇敢的母亲和她的儿子的一个故事。
我的儿子是同性恋
" 或者他不是。 我不在乎。 他仍然是我的儿子。 并且他只有5岁。 并且我是他的母亲。 如果您对以上提到的任何东西有问题，我不想要认识您。 我反复去想是否张贴事关于我的儿子和他万圣节服装选择的详细。 或者明确地，对这件事的反应。 几天后我还是仍然厌烦，所以我张贴了我的想法。
这就是导致对我的反感的事实：
1. 我儿子5岁，并且去教会幼稚园上课。
2. 他从开发能力和注意力可以坐直开就观看它爱的Scooby Doo。
3. 万圣节是一个假日，它的主要焦点是穿着的服装。
4.我儿子的学校安排孩子装饰，做一次小的游行后，换下服装去派對。
5.Boo's最好的朋友是一个小女孩。
6.Boo有一个年长的姐姐
7.Boo花费大多数时间与我在一起。
8.我是女人。
9.我是BOO的母亲，不是您。
万圣节几周之前，BOO的决定他想要是装扮Scooby Doo的Daphne，与他的最好的朋友E.一起。 他两三年前穿戴了作为Scooby。 我犹豫，没有购买，，因为它是一个男扮女装的情况。而且，五岁小孩有一个改变主意的倾向。 在请求两三更多次以后，我答应了并且发出了订单。 当服装到达时，他开心翻了。 一切是完美的。 然后，当我们得到了离实际日子较近，他开始左右而言他。 在讨论后， 他终于说出害怕人们笑他。 我指出某些人民会，因为这是一套逗人喜爱和聪明的服装。 他坚持他们的笑声是嘲笑的种类。 不会的，谁会取笑服装的一个孩子？ 大日子到达。 我们换了衣服。 我们到达他的幼稚园， BOO不想要离开汽车。 他害怕他人将会说和做的事。 我说服他到里面去。 他在门口止步不前。 他是显然地紧张的。 我认为这自是一般来的烦恼。 这世界那会取笑一个孩子万圣节的一套服装？ 他进了学校。 我的朋友佩带微笑和挥动并且给了他鼓励。 我们步行沿着大厅向他的教室走。 那里出了事。 二个母亲吃惊的面孔，好象他们嗅到了尸体。 我意识到我的儿子也看到了。 因此我说， “他看起来很好吧？” A妈妈厌恶地说， “要他求的吗？!” 我说，肯定了，因为万圣节是您可以成为您想要的季节。 他们继续八卦，问我为什么没设法拒绝他。 B妈妈震动和沮丧的站立了那里。 然后C妈妈的方法是- 她看见我们进来和跟随我们在大厅下告诉我她的想法。 说我不应该这么做， 还好不是在幼稚园，因为我会必须严厉阻止这样的事。 我镇静地回复我不会阻止，并且不想再谈论。 她不停继续关于孩子怎样的卑鄙，并且他怎样会被嘲笑。 我的反应是： 似乎唯一有问题的人是孩子们的母亲。 另一个妈妈指出高中经常有女孩穿戴象男孩反之亦然的活动天。 我提及了足球运动员穿戴象啦啦队员反之亦然的Powderpuff比赛。 或者每个frat男孩在学院打扮象女生(A妈妈说她的丈夫是frat男但从未打扮象妇女。) 但是这点，和您无关。 如果您认为我允许的儿子在万圣节打扮一个女性就会成为同性恋者，那么您是蠢货。 首先，这是个可笑概念。 其次，如果我的儿子是同性恋者， 也OK。 我也一样爱他。 第三，我不担心您的儿子将长大会成为是一个忍者，所以滚开。
如果我的女儿穿戴了蝙蝠侠，没人会批判， 没人。 但是也是令人心碎的是我五岁小孩已经懂得担心。 他知道有象A、B和C.的人们。 并且他， 5岁的小孩，关注他们怎样察觉他，并且将发生什么在他身上。
令人心碎的那些父母，最近被由于胁迫而失去了他们的孩子的。 胁迫是不对的。 即使您用蝴蝶结包裹了并且称它“关心”。那些妇女设法胁迫我和我的儿子。 我的儿子。
显然的我没有虐待和忽略我的孩子。 他们不是完美的，但是他们学会如何驾驶这大和有时残暴的世界。 我恨我的儿子必须站在自称基督徒妇女前面时吸取这个教训。 我恨那些妇女的那些想法和更坏地舒适大声的说出他们的想法。 我恨`pink仍然称为女孩的颜色。如果他想要是万圣节的Daphne，我和孩子必须很勇敢的。
我希望我的孩子，所有你的孩子和那些妈妈ABC的孩子们是愉快的。 如果一套紫色闪耀的贴身衬衣和一件柔软光滑的礼服让我的孩字愉快，就让他去吧。 如果他想要带着包包， 嫁给男人或者与他的最佳的女朋友的油漆指甲，都ok。 我生为他的母亲的工作不是抑止他，但是帮助他沿他的方式成为他要成为的人。 我的工作不是口授什么是正常，而是帮助他成为一个好人。
我希望我做着。
并且我的小人儿晃动了那顶假发，卖力地演绎他的服装， 我不会想要其他方式。”
如果我的女儿穿戴了蝙蝠侠，没人会批判， 没人。 但是也是令人心碎的是我五岁小孩已经懂得担心。 他知道有象A、B和C.的人们。 并且他， 5岁的小孩，关注他们怎样察觉他，并且将发生什么在他身上。
令人心碎的那些父母，最近被由于胁迫而失去了他们的孩子的。 胁迫是不对的。 即使您用蝴蝶结包裹了并且称它“关心”。那些妇女设法胁迫我和我的儿子。 我的儿子。
显然的我没有虐待和忽略我的孩子。 他们不是完美的，但是他们学会如何驾驶这大和有时残暴的世界。 我恨我的儿子必须站在自称基督徒妇女前面时吸取这个教训。 我恨那些妇女的那些想法和更坏地舒适大声的说出他们的想法。 我恨`pink仍然称为女孩的颜色。如果他想要是万圣节的Daphne，我和孩子必须很勇敢的。
我希望我的孩子，所有你的孩子和那些妈妈ABC的孩子们是愉快的。 如果一套紫色闪耀的贴身衬衣和一件柔软光滑的礼服让我的孩字愉快，就让他去吧。 如果他想要带着包包， 嫁给男人或者与他的最佳的女朋友的油漆指甲，都ok。 我生为他的母亲的工作不是抑止他，但是帮助他沿他的方式成为他要成为的人。 我的工作不是口授什么是正常，而是帮助他成为一个好人。
我希望我做着。
并且我的小人儿晃动了那顶假发，卖力地演绎他的服装， 我不会想要其他方式。”
掌声寄以妈妈和儿子。 我强烈的同意她为了把这个世界成为一个更好的地方的决心。然而 这是一个残暴的世界，我们不可以控制其他人的想法或行动。 然而，我们有权利做出我们的决定，想要如何处理情况和它的后果; 我相信孩子有同一权利。 因此，我为我的孩子会有少许不同的做法。 首先，我会听取儿童关心被他人凝视，胁迫或取笑的忧虑。 (他的感觉是对的。) 然后，帮助我的孩子了解他的选择的可能的结果，我同时会充分支持让他做出决定和帮助他应付以后的事。 作为父母，我们有义务警告孩子什么会也许危害他们，同时支持他们的决定和坚持他们帮助他们应付。
一个月前一名青少年自杀为了学校胁迫。 我相信这是可以避免的…
一个月前一名青少年自杀为了学校胁迫。 我相信这是可以避免的…
My son is gay - by cop`s wife
This is a story about a very brave mother and her son.
My son is Gay
"or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.
I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.
Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:
1.My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.
2.He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
3.Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
4.My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
5.Boo’s best friend is a little girl
6.Boo has an older sister
7.Boo spends most of his time with me.
8.I am a woman.
9.I am Boo’s mother, not you.
So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.
Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?
And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.
And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.
My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)
But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.
It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. "
My son is Gay
"or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.
I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.
Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:
1.My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.
2.He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
3.Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
4.My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
5.Boo’s best friend is a little girl
6.Boo has an older sister
7.Boo spends most of his time with me.
8.I am a woman.
9.I am Boo’s mother, not you.
So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.
Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?
And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.
And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.
My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)
But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.
It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. "
Kudos to mom and son. I strongly agree with her determination of making this world a better place for her son.
It is a cruel world out there, we can`t control what others will do or think. However, we have the right to make decisions on how we want to handle a situation, and the consequences; I believe children have the same right as well. So, I would have done little differently for my child. First, I would have listened to the child`s concern of being stared at, bullied or making fun of. (His instinct was right.) Then, let my child understand the possible outcome of his choices, at the same time I would let him make the decision by fully support his choices and help him cope with whatever the after math would be. As parents, we have the duty to warn our kids about what might harm them, support their decisions and stand by them to help them cope.
A teen committed suicide a month ago results of school bullying. I believe it could have been avoided…
Saturday, October 23, 2010
一个沮丧的夜。。。
我的长子布鲁斯没有睡好觉。。。白天整天吵。。。
我需要远离他一下下。。
当我工作时， 我是一个更好的妈妈。。。
当我工作时，我是一个更好的人。。 。
从日本搬回到马来西亚， 我不断告诉自己，我需要给孩子的日程惯例。
就是不行， 我未能得到日程惯例，总是有事。。。 为什么。。。
我也认为是否有一个佣人，所有这些就不会发生。。。但是我怀疑。。。
我认为我需要比佣人更强大的力量。
当我在日本时，我曾经也这样认为我丈夫。
如果约翰是更多这或更多那样，则生活有是更好的。。。
真相是，我。。。
我不是妈妈材料，亦不妻子材料。。。
叹气**
妈妈需要是像八爪鱼… 有 8只手来帮她的工作….
A frustrated night with crying sick kid...
My oldest son Bruce did not sleep well for the last two nights...very whinning all day...man~~I need to get away from him.
I am a better mom when I was working, I am a better person when I was working...
Since moving back to Malaysia from Japan. I keep telling myself I need to have a routine for my children. It just does not work. I have not been able to get them a routine, there is always something going on....
why is that... I am also thinking if I have a maid, all these wont happen....but I strongly doubted. I think I need someone more powerful than just a maid to help me out with this one.
I used to think that about my husband when I was in japan. If John was more this or more that, then life would have be better...
The truth is that, it was just me....
I am just not a mom material, nor a wife material...
sigh**
mom need to be like an Octupus...wth 8 hands to help with her work....
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
我们要检查多少儿童信息的来源？
我在我的facebook张贴 “我的儿子已经开始看Ultraman，他喜欢把它称作“啊man”。我收到了的反应：“我朋友的孩子站在沙发上，告诉他爸爸 ：“爸爸...见..超人'..”然后他从沙发上跌了！额头上肿了个大肿块。因此，请确保检查你孩子见及与他们分享对还是错。”我的回答是“我敢打赌，他不会把从沙发上跳了。”
的确，我儿子看了Ultraman之后，他喜欢玩假装的打争。不过，这是我教他如何正确地战斗的时间。就像在“育儿用爱与逻辑” 书中，helicopter parents - 拯救型父母永远都在那里保护他们的孩子，但他们错过了让他们的孩子思考的机会，而辨认从高处跳下是危险的。
有一件事情我真正相信的是，小孩遭受的痛苦时，年轻的将远远超过年长时。我自己的亲身经历：有一天，当我大约12岁或13岁时，我用自行车追逐与摩托车卖面包的人。我骑得非常快，实在太快。当我开到一个转弯时，我跌倒了。 只好拿起脚车自己哭了回家。然而，由于这一场意外，我驾驶汽车永远不会超过极限的速度，或上疯狂司机的车。
我希望我的儿子在开始学习如何骑自行车的时后会跌倒，而不是以后的生活中发生车祸...
的确，我儿子看了Ultraman之后，他喜欢玩假装的打争。不过，这是我教他如何正确地战斗的时间。就像在“育儿用爱与逻辑” 书中，helicopter parents - 拯救型父母永远都在那里保护他们的孩子，但他们错过了让他们的孩子思考的机会，而辨认从高处跳下是危险的。
有一件事情我真正相信的是，小孩遭受的痛苦时，年轻的将远远超过年长时。我自己的亲身经历：有一天，当我大约12岁或13岁时，我用自行车追逐与摩托车卖面包的人。我骑得非常快，实在太快。当我开到一个转弯时，我跌倒了。 只好拿起脚车自己哭了回家。然而，由于这一场意外，我驾驶汽车永远不会超过极限的速度，或上疯狂司机的车。
我希望我的儿子在开始学习如何骑自行车的时后会跌倒，而不是以后的生活中发生车祸...
How much do we censor children`s information sources?
I posted on my facebook that my son has started watching Ultraman, and that he likes to call it "A man". I received a feedback from my friend saying "My fren kid stand on the sofa, n tell his dad ' dad... see.. superman'.. n he fell from the sofa!! big lump on his forehead. so make sure u censor wat ur kid see & share with them wat is right or wrong". My response was " I bet he will not jump off from sofa again."
It is true that after my son watches Ultraman; he likes to play pretend fight. However, that is the prefect timing for me to redirect him how to fight correctly. Just like in the book " Parenting with love and Logic", helicopter parents will always be there to protect they kids, yet, they missed the opportunity to let their kids think for themselves that jumping from height is dangerous.
One thing I truly believe is that the pain they suffer when they are young will be far less severe than when they are older. My own personal experience: One day when I was about 12 or 13 years old, I tried to chase after a motorcycle bread man with my bicycle. I went very fast, too fast indeed to turn when I came to a corner. I fell and picked up myself crying all the way home. However, due to that accident, I will never drive my car more than the speed limit, or get in a car with a crazy driver.
I hope my son will fall when he first started learning how to bike, and not get into a car accident later in life...
It is true that after my son watches Ultraman; he likes to play pretend fight. However, that is the prefect timing for me to redirect him how to fight correctly. Just like in the book " Parenting with love and Logic", helicopter parents will always be there to protect they kids, yet, they missed the opportunity to let their kids think for themselves that jumping from height is dangerous.
One thing I truly believe is that the pain they suffer when they are young will be far less severe than when they are older. My own personal experience: One day when I was about 12 or 13 years old, I tried to chase after a motorcycle bread man with my bicycle. I went very fast, too fast indeed to turn when I came to a corner. I fell and picked up myself crying all the way home. However, due to that accident, I will never drive my car more than the speed limit, or get in a car with a crazy driver.
I hope my son will fall when he first started learning how to bike, and not get into a car accident later in life...
Monday, June 14, 2010
More love...
Yesterday when I woke up and realized, my mother cooked breakfast, but she was out. My husband asked me why mother does not always let us know when she planned to leave the house. I know the reason. Many mothers take care of their families and have never taken a "holiday." That is because most mothers feel a sense of guilt for leaving their children, or ignoring them. My mother has been busy for the last 30 years, she has not been able to change this habit. It will be hard for her to speak out and then leave me and the kids.
So, I'm happy my mother can enjoy herself on her own. Follow her dream of becoming San Mao-style life. On the other hand, I would just stay home and enjoy her cooking with love of the finished dishes. . .
So, I'm happy my mother can enjoy herself on her own. Follow her dream of becoming San Mao-style life. On the other hand, I would just stay home and enjoy her cooking with love of the finished dishes. . .
Spanking is OK!!??
My knowledge tells me spanking children is not an effective parenting tool, especially spanking when you feel mad. However, there were time when my hands react faster than my thoughts...
Today is one of those days. my oldest son is a pusher. He pushes to get attention, when he feels excited, when he is bored, and perhaps under other conditions as well. He has pushed his grandfather`s head from behind several times when his grandfather was sitting on the couch watching T.V. I have tried putting him in time-out, telling him NO firmly, explaining his behaviors causes harm to his grandfather, yet, he did it again today. I held up his left hand, slapped it with my left hand, told him NO, put him in his time-out corner and explained to him pushing anyone is "not nice". Yes, I did the parenting combo.
He cried for couple minutes. As soon as he got out from time-out, he started running around again like life is perfect. Couple minutes after that, I realized there was a bruised spot on my thumb. Terrified, I checked his hand. Luckily, there were red marks but no bruised spots on his hand, but guilt and fear have occupied me.
For him, did he learn not to push again? I doubted. However, for me, I learned spanking (including hand slapping) even with bare hands is not OK.
Today is one of those days. my oldest son is a pusher. He pushes to get attention, when he feels excited, when he is bored, and perhaps under other conditions as well. He has pushed his grandfather`s head from behind several times when his grandfather was sitting on the couch watching T.V. I have tried putting him in time-out, telling him NO firmly, explaining his behaviors causes harm to his grandfather, yet, he did it again today. I held up his left hand, slapped it with my left hand, told him NO, put him in his time-out corner and explained to him pushing anyone is "not nice". Yes, I did the parenting combo.
He cried for couple minutes. As soon as he got out from time-out, he started running around again like life is perfect. Couple minutes after that, I realized there was a bruised spot on my thumb. Terrified, I checked his hand. Luckily, there were red marks but no bruised spots on his hand, but guilt and fear have occupied me.
For him, did he learn not to push again? I doubted. However, for me, I learned spanking (including hand slapping) even with bare hands is not OK.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mothers' day
Another day to show our love to our mothers. My husband wanted to show my mother how much we appreciate her, so he went out early morning to pick out a watch, something she needed since she lost hers years ago.
He came home with a pink watch which he carefully picked out; he felt great sense of accomplishment especially when he gifted me a very stylish Couch bag. As usual, he retreated back to his man-cave after that and started playing online PC game. I started feeling left out and truly unloved because I felt love is not shown by giving gifts but spending time with each other. (Obviously, gifting is my hubby way to show his love)
I went into his man cave and started pick fight. The fight started easily, especially when hubby pointed out he was the only one who cares enough to purchase my mother a watch with his hard working money. The fight ended with me being speechless.
Later that night, I went back to him and explained the 5 love languages. Even though my brother and sisters do not purchase gifts for my parents, but they will show their love differently. My brother shows his love by physical touches, when my sister Jane shows her love by act of service, and lastly my sister Evon shows spending time with them. He was wrong to judge their love for my parents by judging their ways to show love just as my wrong doing of judging his love for me by judging his way to say I love you on mothers` day.
pic: cheese cake which hubby got for me to show me he was thinking about me.
He came home with a pink watch which he carefully picked out; he felt great sense of accomplishment especially when he gifted me a very stylish Couch bag. As usual, he retreated back to his man-cave after that and started playing online PC game. I started feeling left out and truly unloved because I felt love is not shown by giving gifts but spending time with each other. (Obviously, gifting is my hubby way to show his love)
I went into his man cave and started pick fight. The fight started easily, especially when hubby pointed out he was the only one who cares enough to purchase my mother a watch with his hard working money. The fight ended with me being speechless.
Later that night, I went back to him and explained the 5 love languages. Even though my brother and sisters do not purchase gifts for my parents, but they will show their love differently. My brother shows his love by physical touches, when my sister Jane shows her love by act of service, and lastly my sister Evon shows spending time with them. He was wrong to judge their love for my parents by judging their ways to show love just as my wrong doing of judging his love for me by judging his way to say I love you on mothers` day.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Just want to share my baby's pictures...
All parents believe their children are the cutest, smartest, best thing in the world. I am no different. Here is my Baby's picture. Sooo Cute.... I welcome your baby's pictures as well.
Monday, May 3, 2010
更多的爱。。。
昨天醒来， 母亲已煮好早餐。 可是人已出门。 外子问为何母亲总是不交代就出门。我明白。很多母亲总是24小时对着自己的孩子，从来不“放假”。 因为大多数母亲们对于离开孩子会有一种罪恶感，而忽略了自己。忙了30年的母亲， 还是改不了这习惯。要她开口说自己要出门而留下我和孩子们， 很难开口。
所以， 我很开心母亲可以自己出去走走。找回她一直响望的三毛式流浪生活。而我就在家享受她煮的美味爱的成品。。。
所以， 我很开心母亲可以自己出去走走。找回她一直响望的三毛式流浪生活。而我就在家享受她煮的美味爱的成品。。。
Friday, April 30, 2010
mom's cooking- Her way to show love
Mother came to help taking care of me when my second baby was born. She is a very active kind of person, so taking care of two boys was way to easy for her. On top of that, she cooks daily, and here are some of her cooking.
Peanut Cookies
Lunch
Tong-yam Japanese Noodles
Mexican Tong Fen Pot
American Cheese Rice Pot
As you can imagine, the reason the food is delicious is because it is cooked with plenty of love. And the only reason we always finish her food is because we love her...
As you can imagine, the reason the food is delicious is because it is cooked with plenty of love. And the only reason we always finish her food is because we love her...
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